Good Morning!!! This week I hit a major milestone. For the first time as an adult I am in ONE-derland. If you don't recognize that term let me explain. A lot of people who are overweight or obese refer to anything beginning with a one when you weigh in as onederland. So as someone who started out at 300 lbs to weigh in at 199 I am officially in onederland. Woot!!!
Of course, the last full body photo I have is still a few pounds shy of that amazing number but I don't think my body has changed so much in the last 5 lbs that it makes much difference in that one month. However, the photo on the left is from the day after my wedding. We were on our honeymoon and I thought that I looked pretty good. I LOVED that dress. Looking at it now hurts a little bit. Not because I didn't have confidence or feel beautiful for my husband but because I didn't think I was that big.
The flip side of that is, even now, and once I started paying attention to my size, I always feel big. When I fist started thinking about my weight and my size I was still in high school. My friends and I had been shopping at the mall and when I went to try on new jeans they didn't fit. A size 5 was suddenly too small. I had a mini breakdown and not long after decided I wouldn't judge myself based on the size of my jeans. Of course, part of not judging myself that way also gave me too much room to grow.... and grow I did. Not all at once but I stopped being so concious of what I was eating. A decade after my dressing room break down over the size 5 jeans you have the photo from 2008. If I could wear a size 5 again I would end up crying in the dressing room for an entirely different reason now.
To be honest one of my biggest downfalls, and one of my biggest redeming qualities, is that I love food. I love ethnic foods. I love family cook out foods. I love fast food. I love holiday dinners. I love browsing the grocery aisles and coming up with ideas or finding new products. I love food. Since being concious of what I am eating these days I have been known to completely fill my food diary of everything I think I am going to eat that day just to see if I can make it fit into my calorie goals. Then I might change it 20 times as I discard ideas and then add them back in again. Food is one of my greatest pleasures in life.
This is bad because, obviously, it means I want to eat all the time. However, this is also great because it means I am willing to try new things and experiment with new flavors. Even if my family ends up eating the same type of things over and over again like most families in the US tend to do on weeknights I can still add new components or alter recipes. We might have tacos again but today half of the protein is ground beef and the other half is lentils. It could be pizza day and instead of dough we're having them bite sized on mini sweet peppers. Experimenting and trying new recipes for even your favorite things can lead to something you may enjoy even more than the original.
Between using myfitnesspal to track everything I am doing and building my own recipes on that site and Pinterest for finding new ideas I can still make food an exciting part of my life. Unlike any other type of addiction food is not something you can stop. You may be able to stop smoking, stop drinking, stop browsing certain internet sites or stop certain behaviours. Without food you won't survive. Getting a network of people who will support you and tracking everything helps for me. Searching out new ways to keep things both healthy and exciting also make a huge difference for me.
Find what works for you and don't be afraid to try new things. Aim for your ONE-derland or whatever goal you need to reach. And if you ever want to see what I am really eating or find me on my an every day look at my journey I am always on https://www.myfitnesspal.com/pamperedlinny
My next goal is to be no longer "obese" on the BMI chart. That is another 9 lbs to go at 190 lbs for my height. I will still be considered overweight but I think I can manage that as long as I don't give up.
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